2009 brought a lot of great, such as Uncharted 2, Demon Souls, Assassin’s Creed II, the such. One of those great things that year was an 11-minute live-action show on Adult Swim: Delocated. Nobody expected much from a live-action, 11-minute show from the same channel that put out live-action garbage such as Children’s Hospital and Tim and Eric, but this show would soon become the most well-acted, deadpan comedy/drama ever on Adult Swim.
Delocated stars “Jon”, a man whose family enters the Witness Protection Program, after he witnesses a murder by the Mirminsky mafiya family; which is promptly turned into a reality show. In the beginning, Jon and his family all wore ski masks , until his wife divorced him, and his son didn’t care (after a couple of episodes); Jon wore his up until the very last episode (taking it off at least twice, with his face being blurred, over the course of the series). In the first season, he was being hunted by Yvgeny Mirminsky, an affibly evil hitman/comedian, whose every punchline consisted of the word “vodka”; then, in the second season, sh*t got serious, when the TV studio brought in Yvgeny’s brother, Sergei, to hunt Jon. That’s when the show took a noticeably dark turn, while retaining it’s deadpan, black comedy, as well as it’s runtime being bumped up to 22 minutes, instead of 11 minutes. Damn near everyone who Jon ever loved was murdered by Sergei; his wife, his mom, his dad, etc. Sergei’s idea was to “kill the soul, then kill the man”.
While Yvgeny was a dumbass, who eventually gave up on killing Jon, and started a vodka company, titled “Knock Knock. Who’s There? Vodka”; Sergei devoted his life to killing Jon’s soul, and eventually him; he generally just loves to mess with Jon. Jon himself, is a funny jerkass, who hardly cares about his friends, and more about his celeb status. He hardly cares about staying hidden, and frequently makes himself known to New York, such as running for Dog Mayor, and the fact that his life is a goddamned reality show. In season 3, however, he hires a Yakuza gang, known as the Wang Cho’s, to protect him from Sergei. Most of season 3 is Sergei dealing with the Wang Cho’s, eventually beginning a war, when Sergei has their janitor (a guy who had been making “sandwich mouth love” videos, pretending to be Jon) put on a ski mask, and unknowingly kill one of the Wang Cho’s guys, Bohai. Meanwhile, Jon is just living it up, switching from girlfriend to girlfriend, bodyguard to bodyguard, each season, as Sergei kills them all. His last bodyguard was T.B., who had absolutely no life outside of protecting Jon.
Season 3 spoilers follow:
Towards the end of season 3, the war between the Wang Cho’s and the Mirminsky’s rage on, the Wang Cho’s wanting the head of “fake Jon”, and Sergei and Yvgeny agreeing to give them it, so he goes to the FBI, and agrees to wear a wire to a drug meet, so they can bust both groups. Meanwhile, Jon’s new girlfriend wants him to stand up to the Mirminsky clan, so he uses a million dollars (out of millions that he had recently inherited) to buy a giant, bullet-proof bubble, and challenges the Mirminsky’s, tells them that if Sergei leaves his girlfriend and him alone, he could guarantee a truce between them and the Wang Cho’s; they agree. Jon shows up to the meet with Wang Cho’s, that “fake Jon” was setting-up. Jon, along with Qi-qang (the leader of the Wang Cho’s), and Sergei all go to prison. Then, the TV studio hosts a reunion show, and has Jon, Sergei, and Qi-qang relased from prison for the day, but it goes off-the-rails, and the three are busted out of the show, and taken to a safehouse, where Segei plans to kill Jon. He ends up shooting Qi, and taking Jon to Russia.
The series finale, The Frrt Identity (Frrt was the noise that Jon regularly made with his mouth), begins a full year (in universe, and in real-life), after the events of season 3. Jon wakes up on the beach, with no recollection of who he is, or what has happened. He finds an address taped to his stomach, and decides to check it out. He runs into Jay the Doorman (who he frequently tells to “shut the f*ck up!”), who tells him his name, and gives him a package that contains a bottle of “Knock Knock. Who’s There? Vodka”. He heads to Yvgeny’s business, starts speaking Russian, and incapacitates Yvgeny, and kills at least one of the two other workers, drinks the vodka he recieved in the mail, and finds a key, to his loft. He heads to his loft, which is completely empty, and remembers who he is. He goes to the FBI, and tells them that he remembers Sergei taking him to Russia, and goes on and on about a meal he had in Iceland. The FBI reassigns T.B. to him, and he takes him to see his son in the park. The FBI gets a call from Yvgeny about a homicide, and how it was Jon; to which they freak out and tell T.B. to get Jon away from his son, David, as Sergei may have trained Jon to kill him, using electro-shock. T.B. pulls a gun out on him, prompting Jon to hit T.B., and cause him to shoot himself.
Jon starts chasing David through the woods, saying he has no idea why he’s doing this, and talking to him about the meal he had in Iceland, and that he should go there sometime. David trips, and Jon gets on top of him and starts choking him (set to “Cat’s in the Cradle”), and kills him. Cue commercial. Then, he heads to Russia, and finds Sergei’s cabin, tells him he broke his “mind hex”. Sergei mocks him about his dead son, and Jon expresses discomfort about killing his son. Cue the student trying to take down the master, as Jon and Sergei go toe-to-toe, beating the crap out of each other, before Jon takes Sergei down, and in one last moment, he chants “Welcome to the Bone Zone” (his famous catchphrase) as he stabs Sergei in the neck. He breaks down crying for his son. He sends a tape back to the head of the FBI, and his boss, Susan, telling them that he had high hopes for the show, but he decided to stay in Russia, to live in peace. He ends the video by taking off his mask, to reveal his (Jon Glaser’s) face, uncensored. Susan thinks of donating the mask he sent back to the Smithsonian (the garbage), and kisses the head of the FBI, implying they’re together. The final shot is of Jon playing golf, in front of the cabin, while Sergei’s body hangs from the roof of the cabin. Perfect end to an amazing show.
Delocated was one of the best things on TV, let alone Adult Swim, and I’m sad to see that, after 5 years, it’s finally ended. No more Bone Zone. I wish Jon Glaser the best of luck, and really hope that he starts another show, because Delocated was amazing. I recommend that you buy the DVD, which features every episode from season 1 and 2. I give The Frrt Identity my “rigbybot127 Seal of Masterful Quality”, and a perfect score. Long live the Bone Zone!
My tastes in games breach all genres, though my fortes are platformers and first-person shooters. My favorite game series is probably Super Mario, specifically the 3D games. I also love Rayman, Hitman, Bioshock, Half-Life/Portal, Uncharted, and Grand Theft Auto. As for my favorite game, it's hard to say: I love Portal 2, Shadow of the Colossus, Half-Life 2, Bioshock, Resident Evil 4, Super Mario Galaxy 2, Rayman Legends, Hitman 2: Silent Assassin, Grand Theft Auto IV, L.A. Noire, Fallout 3, Journey, and Metal Gear Solid 3: Subsistence all so damn much.
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